Friday, September 16, 2011

Facing the Fear

Running scares me. I fear it. I'm trying to think of the reasons why. I guess here are a few.

*It's hard. To me, long distance running is the epitome of fitness. It takes training, endurance, strength..all the things I think of when I think "athlete".

*It's not fun to me. I mean, I love the feeling when I'm done. I love the feeling of being able to run, but honestly I don't wake up happy to go for a run. I do it because I have to and I know I want to run long distances. I am hoping that I turn in to a real runner. You know the type that just leisurely goes for 18 mile runs on Saturdays because they love it. Yeah. Maybe. One day.

*I'm doing this all by myself and must be self-motivated to walk out the door. Unlike Title Boxing there is no set schedule, no instructor, no friends to go with me, no one rooting me on as I huff and puff through it.

*I'm not an athlete. Never have been. Running is for athletes only. Not clinically obese people. It's impossible for an obese person to run.

*I'm really not good at it. Well let me say, I'm not where I *think* I should be. I guess I *think* I should be able to walk out the door and be able to run 45 minutes each and every time. That's ridiculous. I know.

*I'm scared I CAN'T do it.  I'm scared I WON'T do it. 

So those are the reasons I am afraid of verbally expressing my desire to run a 1/2 marathon (and eventually a full marathon)  Just seems at this point pretty far fetched and out there.  I'm barely running a 5k at this point. 

All this negative talk. So unproductive. So let me switch this blog up on a positive note!

*I can run a 5k. Easy? Nope. But I can do it

*I can't wait to be able to say something like "oh today is my long run, 10 miles" and shock the hell outta folks.

*I want this.  I know it's hard but that's why err'body ain't doin it (busting out my slang, get used to it)

*I've overcome a lot in this journey, this is just another thing for me to accomplish. I won't allow fear to set me back!

So I need to have a "come to Jesus" with myself and realize the following:

*There will be days I don't feel like it. Do it anyway. Get it done!

*The winter is coming. Real runners run in non-perfect conditions all the time.

*All runs won't be good runs. Doing something is more than doing nothing. 


So these are just a lot of my thoughts right now.  I just want to do this and prove to myself that I'm capable of things I set my mind to.

FEAR - False Evidence Appearing Real


  1. I just read this on SparkPeople and so I decided to show you love here and there! I am so proud of you! I wake up everyday hoping to make changes and asking myself how did I let myself get back to this unhappy place. BUT, NOT you! You asked yourself how do I get back to the better place! I want to get there and I think about it everyday! NOW, I have to be about it everyday! And you are definitely A Real Person showing Real Progress!

    Your Friend,----Wilsan(lovelyw14)

  2. Hey Wilsan! You know I slip up every now and then. Some of them are HUGE 30lb gain slips. But I'm determined to FINALLY change my life. No more quick fixes, just stringing together lots of good choices and having faith it will result in weight loss! We got this! Hang in there!