Friday, December 16, 2011

Maintenance Mode

Of course I'm not officially in maintenance mode, but with all the things that come along with the holidays, Thanksgiving-New Years, I made a decision that maintenance is the goal during this time.

I'm not going to stress myself out about missing Title due to my niece & nephews Christmas programs, happy hours, or just plain relaxing! I've worked hard this year *pats self on back* so I deserve a mini-break from my journey.

This doesn't mean I'm "off the wagon". This ride lasts for the rest of my life, and in the grand scheme of my (hopefully long) life, what is one month?  I still make every work out possible and I still don't mindlessly eat. Yes, sometimes I CHOOSE to eat things I know aren't the best but I recognize the consequences to that.. 

I know I haven't blogged much lately, but nothing really exciting is going on.  I made a decision to run my first 1/2 marathon in May. It's in Myrtle Beach, SC.

Of course I haven't started training, but it'll happen. Gotta get back on the grind. Until then, I'm relaxing and enjoying my holidays! Hope you are doing the same.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Sprint Thanksgiving Day 5k

Who would have ever thought I (along with my sisters and nephew) would get up on Thanksgiving morning and run 3 miles.  This time last year that was only in my wildest running dream. This year it happened making this my 6th race this year!

Of course I could focus on the negative.  I'm think I've gained about 5lbs, I haven't went out for a training session in weeks. But I won't.  I am still doing better this year than I was last year. So take that negative voice in my head!

I will admit, I was not enthused about this one.

My sister and I spent the night at my parents house so that we could help my mom cook. (FAIL) So not only did we eat TONS of snacks we probably didn't go to bed until close to 2am. 

The race started at 9am and we made it probably about 20 mins before then. Besides the Race for the Cure this was the biggest race I had ever done. Lots of people and the enthusiasm was high which always helps!

Because of the crowd we probably didn't cross the starting line until about 10mins after the gun.  Good thing we opted to pay the extra $2 for the chip. 

As crazy as this is, when we were just passing the starting line there were people making the loop back on their way to finish! Amazing speed!  I think the first person finished in less than 15 mins!

It's always fun to see those people racing back and clapping for them as they dust me. LOL. As competitive as I am, I KNOW my desire is not to win, but to complete and beat my own time.

The crowd remained heavy for about a 1/2 mile. So I'm thinking my time definitely could have been faster if we were able to maneuver through the beginning better.

The first mile came very quickly.  I never look at the route beforehand so I'm usually clueless on where the markers should be or where the heck I'm running. I was surprised that after a few hills and inclines the 2nd mile came very quick as well.  I wasn't tired at all and was ready to push myself to run a little faster to finish the last mile. 

About a quarter in to mile 3 my side started hurting and I had a weird pain in my foot. UGH. Never has happened before.  I told my sister to go ahead a make her time because I was slowing up a bit.  But both pains quickly passed and I was back in there.

My sister usually runs a quicker pace than I do so I begged her to go ahead if she felt like speeding up but she kept saying she was ok actually. So maybe my pace improved to where she runs! 

The last quarter mile seemed long as heck, but maybe it was because we were running faster or that I had mentally checked out since I knew the finish line was near. I wasn't tired at all though.

We finished together at 36:16 and I as I crossed the finish I was thinking "that wasn't bad at all, in fact I almost want to say it was EASY"!

We met up with my nephew (who finished about 5 mins before us) and waited on my other sister to finish (only a few mins after us)

The last two races I got VERY sick to my stomach, but I was ok after this one. I passed on the after race snacks this time and drank a juice. Maybe that is what I need to do going forward.

All in all, it was a very good race and a great way to start the holiday. 

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Buck O'Neil Race - 2.2 Miles

I will admit, I was a bit cocky with this race. "2 miles, PSSHHHHH, no problem. I got this"

I haven't run in 2 weeks and it was freakin cold outside. Wait. No one told me this was a hilly course. Hill. After hill. After hill.

I was tired after this one and will never disrespect another run.  This was my nephew's first race (he's 11) and I just KNEW we would be waiting on him. HAHAHA. Yeah right. That sucker finished in 19 mins and was sitting at the finish line drinking orange juice waiting on his mom and I to finish.

My pace started too fast. The first block or two was all hill and I tried to keep up with the crowd (and my sister and nephew) I was able to, but had to catch my breath going down. That is when they passed me and at that point I could never catch up with them.I completely lost my nephew, but my sister wasn't too far ahead so I could see her the entire race.

Of course I didn't look at the race map so I assumed we were making a loop.  Had I known the finish line was coming up quicker than I thought, I probably could have picked up my pace more at the end. I was preparing for another hill, but there wasn't another one.

Anywho. Results. 22:41. (10.19 mile) Fastest miles yet. I'm shocked by this because I swear I felt like I was running super slow.  But I wanted a good pace. Come on. 2 miles. I definitely wanted to have a PR and I did. YAY.

Next race? THANKSGIVING! I need to hurry up and register. AND force myself to get out there and train. SAD. I know. Slacking.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Progres Pictues & the Return of the Red Dress!

Since I've gotten  rid of my scale, I've taken a lot of pictures of myself and they have been very helpful.  It feels good to take pictures and be ok with them.   I wish I would've taken more pictures when I was heavier for comparisons. I guess I probably did, but instantly hated and deleted them.

For anyone starting take LOTS of pictures. Take them of every single part of your body at every single angle. Those times (like now for me) when the scale doesn't move fast, you'll be happy you did it.

This blog is picture heavy! Let's start with the red dress pictures! I bought this dress in 2010 for a cruise. Size 16 from Target.

April, 2010- 215 lbs - I guess I was just happy it fit!

July 2011 - 200 lbs

August 2011 - 195 lbs Now it's looking wearable! 

Nov 2011 - 185lbs Too big (check out the stomach area)! Needs to be altered and it looks longer!

It's amazing the big changes in the way the dress fits, with very little scale movement behind it! Oh and check out those arms! Guess the "real" push-ups are paying off!

Now on to my new progress pictures. I'm so loving this. Yes, I need to tone (see tummy pixs) but shooooot not bad at all. Wow what a crazy journey (that never ends) Thankful to God for seeing me through this far!  Here it is folks!

yeah buddy!

And this last picture is to show the work I still need to do. TONE TONE TONE. Nope this isn't excess skin. This is fat that needs to GO!

 I put my \hand on my belly so you can see what I'm talking about.

I'm feeling good about where I'm at. Oh trust me, that doesn't mean I'm done. You are NEVER done. My focus is no longer big drops on the scale. I want to SEE changes in my body.  On to the next I suppose......


Monday, October 31, 2011

Dance Central 2 and other randomness.

My cousin called me yesterday and wanted to come play DC2. I was sleepy and tired, but I'm always down for the cause, plus though I've had it since last Tuesday, I haven't had time to play it :-(

DC2 is much more 2-player friendly now. I love that we was could dance competitively against each other at the same time. Ya  know I'm competitive but the wins went back and forth.

I decided my favorite song is Nicki Minaj's Massive Attack. I've never heard the song before but the dances are crazy and it had my heart PUMPING! I LOVE IT!

Since I've been working out for so long I tend to forget that my endurance is greater than those I hang with. I was still good and ready to play back to back songs, but my cousins were TIRED. I just couldn't understand it. LOL. I ended the day playing 7 songs in a row solo.  Solo play is ok, but I LOVE playing competitively with someone else. Gotta find new friends with lots of endurance. :-)

Food wise, yesterday, well let's just say the weekend was not good. Wedding cakes, bbq and Pizza hut were all on the menu. Though we danced for better than 2 hours yesterday, and I walked/ran a 5k (breast cancer walk) Saturday,  I still don't know if it was enough to counter act the bad food choices.

Today is the last day of the month! I know results are due, but I gave my scale away to my sister. AND I can't find my measuring tape.  So yeah, not sure when I'll have anything to report. All I know is my jeans (size 14 from Target) are snug as heck today.  Not sure if it's because I bought them this way, or that I'm gaining. But this is an uncomfortable feeling not knowing where I stand. *I'm sure this is all mental*

Maybe I can catch my sister and have her put the scale in her trunk so I can use it real quick. I just want to know the number (obsession!?!) yeah I guess.

Oh! Yeah. Also in talking to my cousin (who has the BEST BODY EVER) I found out how much she weighed.  And I was SHOCKED as hell to know I *only* weigh 15lbs more than her.  WTF. That's exactly why the scale is a PHONY.  It's not about how much you weigh it's about the body fat %.  I *honestly* could care less about weighing 185lbs. All I know is that it's flabby and I want it to be tight. Give me a tight banging 185 over a flabby gross 145 ANY DAY!!!

Gosta build up this muscle.

Anywho this was a very random blog, but it's like that sometimes.

Happy Halloween!! Have a good one.


Friday, October 28, 2011

My sister is a ROCKSTAR

My sister came through for me, AGAIN! On Friday's I work from home, so I always plan to run before I have to log in, around 7am.  Today however, I didn't get up until 8am. Well...honestly last night I already had doubts I would get up and run (see how I play myself mentally, ugh. hate that!)

My sister calls me around 10am and says she thinks she is getting off early and would come to my house around 4 to run with me.  And she was on time!

We agreed to do Week 2 of the training (3 fifteen minute run intervals with 1 minute walks in between)Nothing really phenomenal to report.  My legs felt strong and my breathing was good. After the hills I have to slow down some to catch my breathe though. We kept a pace that allowed us to talk throughout the training. It was a really good run! I'm so thankful that we are able to run together.

Final results: 4 miles, 48:40 mins, 12:10 minute pace! Yes,a personal best!!!

So far I've done 5 4-milers (according to my runkeeper activity).  Here they are:

9/28 - 52:55
10/2 - 58:41
10/5 - 52:59
10/10 - 51:08
10/28 - 48:40

Looks like progress. Lord please help me with consistency, especially on those days I have to run alone. Amen!

Have a great weekend!

p.s Not doing well getting back on my workout streak.  I didn't work out yesterday, so I'm back to day 1 in the challenge. 

Thursday, October 27, 2011

The Kid is Back?????

After coming off of several (2) crushing runs, I finally got out again.  Yes, I had a whole week off from running and toying with the idea of going down to 2 days a week (Fridays & Sundays) in order to squeeze in an extra day of Title Boxing.

I just can't explain enough the mental challenge running is for me. Much greater than the physical. I have got to get through this barrier. I have got to run, no excuses.

So what excuse did I come up with last week? None really. I just didn't feel like it.  That may be one of the worse excuses though. FEEL LIKE IT? WTH? There is a lot of things I don't FEEL like doing, but I do them because I have to or because that's the goal I set for myself. S


Yesterday my sister and I decided we would run together. Now there are pros and cons to workout buddies.

Able to socialize
Someone else is depending on you

You are on someone else's time
Someone else is depending on you
Different fitness levels

Thankfully my sister and I run the same pace HOWEVER (and I love my sister) her time schedule is ridiculous.  10 mins means an hour and I'm not kidding.  If she says she'll be there at 7 you should be expecting her around 9. That bad.

Yesterday was no exception (but it wasn't her fault) so I was irritated a little (TOM kickin in too) and wanted to just say forget.  But we went.

She is also doing B210K but is on week 1. I know she could've done Week 3 with me, but heck I'm not confident I can. So we did Week 1 that consists of  four 10 minute run intervals. 

It was nice! Our pace was such we could hold a conversation during the entire run. We took on hills, loose attack dogs, a random mans comment saying "yall don't need to lose no weight" O_o  *begins to run a bit faster*

But it was so much fun! LOL  Nothing better than running in the city.  It's such a peculiar thing  to do unlike the suburbs where you can always find someone out running.  So we were definitely on an adrenaline rush.

I didn't run the RunKeeper app so I'm not sure how far we ran. I would say it took us a little less then an hour to complete the training.

I'm also seeing how important cross-training is while running.  Though I am not a consistent runner, I was able to hang in there and get it done. The hills weren't bad either. I think it's due to the boxing on the non-run days. My legs are getting pretty strong!

Oh I almost forgot. It was cold out. Well I guess the temperature was in the high 40's but I definitely needed my gloves on.  And it got dark during our last 15mins.  After daylight savings, I'm not sure we will be able to run together during the week anymore. *sad face*

I've got to push myself out the door Friday morning to run. It won't be as fun, but hey, it is what it is. 

Thanks for the support! :-)


Friday, October 21, 2011

So what cha been up to?

Not running! That's what.  My last run was Sunday, and it was 2 miles. I'm getting in my slump. I feel it coming.  After 2 bad runs in a row, my confidence isn't there.  Thus, I haven't been back out. Oh and it's cold. I wake up to temps in the 30's. Excuses. Basically.

Yeah I talked a whole lotta smack to myself about how real runners run in sub par weather. But that's when the weather was terrific aside from a little sprinkle of rain here and there. But now...Oh I just want to stay under the covers.

Do I feel bad about it? No and yes.  Yes because I've dedicated this whole blog to my running adventures, yet I'm not running soooooooo..yeah. I feel like my blog is disappointing.

BUT, I still work out. Every day.  Title boxing kicks my a$$ STILL.  I've been going to a new trainer and But I love tough. I love to hurt.  I love the challenge.  He doesn't want us to do push-ups on our knees. EXCUSE ME? That's what I do. But this week I tried. *gasp* That's right. I simply tried. I can do 5! I'm also pretty stoked on the fact that I can pull up my body weight using my arms.  We do this thing where you put your feet under the bag, wrap your arms around the bag and pull yourself up. Sounds easy right? Well it's not! But I can do it! Nope, can't do the 15 he wants, but I can do about 8! I remember not being able to do that and HATING just sitting there watching everyone else effortlessly doing it.  Feels good to be part of the fit crew. :-)

What kind of sucks is his class is on Wednesdays. A run day. If I want to take his class, I would be running 3 days in a row (Fri, Sat, Sun). I don't know what to do.

Run because I said I would, or boxing that I LOVE! Hmmmm. Decisisons.

Also thought about getting my membership back to my gym at work. The advantage is I can workout during lunch and they have lots of weight machines(which I NEED). The disadvantage is I don't live close to my job.  I wouldn't be utilizing the gym on the weekends at all to use the treadmill for my run days. So basically I'm paying for a gym I would use only Mon-Thurs IF I go everyday I'm at work.

They do have a couple treadmills at the boxing I probably should save my money and just use that one.

I think I'm going to meet my November 1 goal of 185lbs. This morning I weighed in at 185.6. I need to stay focused this weekend and next and continue tracking my food.

That's about it!!!!
Have a great weekend!!

Monday, October 17, 2011


The title is dramatic. But it was a pretty rough week fitness/nutrition wise. I know I'm SUPER behind on blogging so this is a quick recap on last week.

Last Monday I woke up with severely swollen eyes due to allergies. I worked from home and passed out on Benedryl.  Since I didn't run Sunday, I moved it to Monday evening. Thanks to my support system I went ahead and did it. And guess what!?! PERSONAL BEST. 4 miles non-stop in 51:08 (12:58 pace). I was SO happy about this run. I just kept going and was determined to do it.

Tuesday I did make it to boxing class but since I have been slacking on my tracking (hey that rhymed) I don't know what the heck I ate.

So the week went downhill from there. Sadly. Wednesday I went to the park to run.  There was so much going on soccer games, picnics, and even a wedding! Not that I'm making excuses, but I was seriously distracted and hoping my big butt wasn't in any of the wedding pictures. On top of that I ran for about 2 miles, the Runkeeper tells me I did 4 miles. UGH. Technology. So I began walking in order to pull my phone out of my fanny pack (which is difficult due to it being so small and my phone being so big).  And that was IT. Motivation was gone.  I checked out mentally and walked the rest of the day to finish the loop. So I would say I ran 2 miles, walked 1/2 a mile.

Thursday I didn't even go to Title Boxing. Why? I was looking fabulous and wanted to stay that way when I met my friends for dinner. We go out every Thursday and I'm always coming from Title in workout clothes. Being single out here is tough. I'm going to have to start looking decent when I'm out.  For dinner I had chicken strips and fries. Wasn't even good. So on top of not working out I had a crap load of fried food.  This can't happen every week, but I excused myself on this day and before I went to bed did 10mins of ab work so I wouldn't break my streak. (Day 94).

 I usually work from home on Fridays, but we had a meeting that I had to come to the office for. Of course there was a potluck afterwards. Good thing I'm not a fan of homemade foods and desserts so potlucks at work are not a weakness of mine. They had a chili cook-off ( I don't eat chili) so I brought my lunch instead.  It smelled good though, I will admit.  Being that I'm not used to being at work on Fridays my body was rebelling and motivation was ZERO. I took the afternoon off and met my friend for lunch. I was starving (no breakfast due to the meeting) so I ate my spaghetti I packed before leaving. THEN went to eat lunch. (fat huh?).  I wasn't really hungry, but craving (and thats all it was, was a desire, not a need) for chips and queso.  I think I ate my weight in chips. Felt bad afterwards. We went to the mall and the time we left was just in time for the 5pm boxing class (we were close) but I talked myself out of going. Sad.  And went home. I must've been pretty tired because I went right to bed.  I was sleep by 5:30ish and woke up at 9ish and STARVING again.  I really wanted to eat better but couldn't think of anything to eat. Guess what I decided? BBQ. Yes at 10pm I went and ordered a huge beef sandwich and fries. SIGH....
I come home to it and it was HORRIBLE. Cold fries, and the fattiest beef I have ever had in my life (even after I distinctly asked for lean beef) If the place wasn't so far from my house I would have taken it back.  The beef wasn't even chewable. YUCK. What a freakin waste of money and calories!
Oh and no workout! Yes I could've counted "mall-walking" but come on now. Heart rate wasn't even raised. STREAK BROKEN AFTER 94 DAYS. Aye....But it was done conscienencely. I was tired and full off nasty BBQ. I know I could've done 10 mins of ab work, but I didn't feel like it.

Saturday I had my family over to play Dance Central.  I cooked a huge pot of chicken alfredo with broccoli and wheat linguini (I tried to make it semi-nutritious. lol) But I again, ate my weight in pasta along with 2 red velvet cupcakes.  I'm hoping all of the dancing burned those calories though!

Sunday I was till exhausted but forced myself to get up and run. I knew already (mentally checked out) it wouldn't be a personal best, but I promised my friend I would go (thankful for sound support)  I ran 2 miles with a couple of walk breaks. My goal was 3 so I had to walk the last mile back home. The funny thing is this guy passed me up. He had on his little belt with 2 water bottles attached so I assumed it was a long run day for him.  He didn't look like he was going super fast at all, but he DUSTED me.  Not that I was intimidated, but my  mind told me to just STOP and watch him pass me. And that's exactly what I did. 
Eating wasn't great either. Leftover alfredo for breakfast (I bagged up the leftovers in one serving portions) and spaghetti for lunch (oh the pasta!) and then some other junk later that day.


I was scared to even get on the scale, but I did. I was prepared for 190lbs but I was 187.6. Still in a good place to meet my goal of 185 by 11/1!

Today I am starting over and prepared with breakfast, lunch, and healthy snacks. I WILL track and I WILL go to Title boxing tonight.

Thanks always for the love and support!

Thursday, October 6, 2011

My inner athlete wants to come out & play - Week 3 Day 2

Yes, she is ready to shed the layers. Years of being obese, years of inactivity, years of self-hatred, and years of saying "I'm not an athlete".

It's time. I've always visualized me running. Even at 300lbs.  Ok well maybe the high 200's. The visions just been buried under all of these layers of negativity and with that it stayed just a vision.  But finally, thank God, I've finally stepped out and am trying to make it happen.

Today I'm feeling good. I'm feeling proud. I'm feeling thankful.  The journey to health is NOT easy. Of course yall know that.  If it was everyone would eat right and be in excellent shape. So today I'm allowing myself to simply be proud.

Many times on my quest to stay "humble" during this process, I sometimes minimize my accomplishments.  Sparking and blogging allows me the outlet to "toot my horn" much more then I would ever do in real life. When people comment about my weight loss I simply reply "thank you" and start another conversation.  I'm not good with being the center of attention especially when it comes to discussing my weight. Blame that on years of trying to hide behind it. When you are 300 lbs of course you never wanted anyone to comment on your weight. The feeling is still here with me now. It makes me uncomfortable. Along with that, I try to be careful about what I say to people. It's easy to get on a soapbox about the subject. You have to remember everyone hasn't had their "come to fitness" moment and though they are quick to comment about your weight loss, that is where they want the conversation to end. Just think about it, at your heaviest did you want someone passing judgment telling you all the things you probably already know concerning your health. Nope. Not unless you asked them. But I've got to learn how to manage it. Sometimes it is okay to share your story. Someone may need to hear it.

So today (after much thought and soul-searching) I posted a body shot of myself on Facebook. It may not be a big deal to some of you, but for me it was a HUGE step. It brings attention to the place I am most uncomfortable with. My body. Yes. I'm proud of it today!

Ok anyways. Week 3 Day 2.

So guess who didn't start the training app on their phone? THIS GIRL. I thought I did, but 5 songs later, I thought, well where is my 10 minute signal? At that point I knew something was wrong. Oh well, I decided I would just run until I was tired.

Well tired came at mile 2. I had to walk and I'll admit, I felt so defeated. Like geez, I can't even get to 3 miles! REALLY!?!  Not even a 5k huh? I was upset. I walked for about a minute or 2 and was totally thinking about finishing the loop on the trail and getting in my car and calling it a wrap!

Don't know what happened, but I couldn't do it. Started back running. For another minute. Stopped again. I was tired on the incline. I saw this bench a little further along and allowed myself to walk to the bench. I'm sure I gave myself a little pep talk at this point. Probably something about not quitting, gotta blog, I can do it all those positive type mantras.

Well it helped and I was able to run 2 more miles non-stop. Oh wait I had to stop and tie my shoe. That doesn't count though right?  So anyways. Despite technical difficulties, sore legs, and mental blocks, I had my best run yet!  4 miles in 52 minutes.  The walk breaks were needed and from now on I will not bash myself for doing so. In fact, Jeff Galloway is all about the walk/run method of distance running. LOVE HIM!

Here is a picture of me. I LOVE this picture (in a VERY humble way of course!).  It just screams..THIS GIRL IS AN ATHLETE!! 

Monday, October 3, 2011

So how'd you do it? - Eating Clean/Calorie Counting

Let's back up a bit and I'll list the things I've tried:

~Slim Fast
~Cereal diet
~Phentermine (Adipex)'
~Weight Watchers (well not a real attempt, I signed up online for 2 months)
~Lean Cuisines, Smart ones, Healthy Choices etc.
~SouthBeach Diet
~Low Carb
~Eating what I want and trying to work it off with 2-a-day workouts

I think that exhausts my list.  All of the aboves...FAIL. FAIL. FAIL.

Ok, well not total fails. With Southbeach I did lose 25lbs or so and never gained it back and I didn't give WW a whole hearted attempt (my sister is doing very well on WW)

Some of these other ones. CRAZINESS, in my opinion.  I've heard many people say it and this is SO TRUE. Whatever you do to lose the weight is what you will be doing in order to keep it off. Because as soon as you stop doing them, the weight comes back. HELLO. I'm a witness!

How realistic is it to drink a Slim Fast shake for breakfast and lunch for the rest of my life? Not realistic at all. Oh and don't get me started on the Phentermine.  I was up at 2am vacuuming my entire house because I couldn't sleep and had all this energy.

My last attempt at tackling my weight had me in the gym ALL day and night.  I was of the mindset I would eat what I wanted as long as I burned it all off! Ummm, that worked for a while, but life got in the way of my marathon workout sessions.

It's hard for me to discuss weight loss with many people. When they start talking about injecting hormones, eating cabbage all day, and swalling pills my mind starts wandering and I try hard to bite my tongue about why those things don't work in the long term. But aye..who am I? I've been there, done that.

I yo-yo'd so much because I never figured out what really worked. Like I said before, I would get down to 210, then back up to 240, back to 205, back up to 225. It was insane that I never got under 200 lbs. I thought it was really something wrong with me and my body wasn't able to do it. (Yeah, I know I'm insane)

This past holiday season (2010) I'd had enough. I was 240ish lbs again and completely uncomfortable..AGAIN. I thought I had it all together when I got down from 311 lbs to 210 and here I was, miserable.  AGAIN!

As much Sparking as I'd done, I knew my nutrition sucked. I knew I had been trying to win the war without all the necessary artillery, if you will.

During my time off from work during the holidays,  I started really taking a look at "A black Girls Guide to Weight Loss" blog.  I wanted to deny what she {Erika} was saying about counting calories and eating clean, but the Holy Spirit would not allow me to take in all this information and ignore it.  I was moved to admitting my addiction to processed, fatty, sugary food and coming to the realization that I needed to eat clean.

What is eating clean?

In layman's terms, eating clean is eating only whole foods. Foods with little to no ingredients and in their rawest form.  Fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, complex carbs, dairy products. No processed foods (foods processed in a manufacturing plant and passed off as edible. Sorry. Soapbox)

Here are a couple of links about it (that explain it more eloquently than I can)

Along with eating clean, I count calories. Though I believe eating whole foods is important, I still can over-eat these foods as well (but not nearly as much as junky processed foods) You can still have too much of a good thing.

Sparkpeople gives me a calorie range based on my weight, goal weight, and the amount of calories I burn with exercise.  This tool has been fundamental in my weight loss (and weight maintenance).  Counting calories is like managing a budget.  When you begin counting you see how many calories your favorite foods have. Like a budget, you start to think about whether the calories of those items are "worth it" or if you can "fit it in".

If I'm feeling really hungry, I eat tons of vegetables for volume using very few of my allowed calories.  You'd be surprised how calories add up!  Every bite, every drink, everything you put in your mouth has a calorie value.  Make them worth it!

Here is a link on calorie counting:

Erika has an awesome series on the importance of calorie counting for weight loss.

So in answer to how I did it (in a way that I can maintain for the rest of my life) my answer is eating clean, and calorie counting. Maybe one day I will get to the point where I can intuitively eat, but until then, I will be logging all my foods.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Very Regular.....Week 3 Day 1

I woke up ready and willing to run today. It wasn't hard to get started at all. Maybe I'm still feeling good about my new shoes. LOL.

I actually did the 5 minute warm-up ( I usually skip this part and just start running) because I felt a little stiff.  The first 10 minutes are always so hard. Totally mental (like always) but probably because I know I have at least another hour to go. 

So I added 2 minutes on my runs. And yeah. I could definitely tell.

The gloves helped, but my hands were still cold. Maybe I should've broke off the extra 10 bucks for the North Face's. Oh well.

Oh I forgot. There are lots of older people that walk on the trail. One lady said "you are really doing a good job".  She just doesn't know how much that made me smile and gave me a little push to keep going.

I finished in plenty of time to get ready for church. My hair didn't look like anything and had to throw it in a bun, but it felt good to wake up, run and make it to church. Just an all around good feeling to feed my body and spirit!

Nothing else really blog worthy to report.  It was tough, but I finished. Thankful for 2 days off from running. I hope my mind doesn't check out, and my body gets some rest.

Average Pace (including 5 min warm-up) : 14:38
Miles complete:  4.01
Time: (not including 5 min cool-down)  58:41

Until next time.....


Saturday, October 1, 2011

New Shoes! - Week 2 Day 3

I finally broke down and bought new shoes! I went to the local running store and where they analyzed my old shoes and watched me walk around the store in order to figure out what type of shoes I needed.  Sorry can't remember what the outcome was (something about I walk on the outside of my soles) I tried on several pairs of Nike's, New Balances, and Saucony's. I liked the Nike's because they were all black.  They were super cute.  I had to suppress my inner fashionista though and bring out the runner in me. This shopping trip was not about looks, it was about comfort and fit (yeah, that's what I kept telling myself).  I absolutely fell in love with these Mizuno Wave Precision 12's though!

pix from
 Aren't the cute!?!? They have some flowers on the side. How girlie!!! Now I come from a place where only Nike and Adidas are acceptable brands of tennis shoes so THIS is monumental! I'm totally a runner! LOL because I didn't care.

They are so light!  I felt like I didn't have shoes on at all. I already have enough weight in my legs to lift,  no need to add more with bulky sneakers!
I was so excited to get out and run with my new shoes that I woke up before the sun came up today but had to wait until it got lighter out.
I went to the park by my house to complete W2D3, and I must say this was the best run yet. I felt so good running.  I still  looked forward to my 1 minute walks. I think that is mental. Just because I know they are coming, I get excited about it. But I think I could run the 45 minutes non-stop.

The inclines were a beast, but going down allows me to catch my breathe and gather my composure again. I do like running at the park. I can get my people on. And of course having people around makes me put a little pressure on myself to "look like a runner" lol. I watch my form, my posture, my breathing. I totally get into looking the part.

I was running today and this other runner (looked very athletic and experienced) passed me completely up. I mean she really lapped me. But I was good with that. More motivation to keep going and work harder. I envied how effortlessly she ran (well it looked effortless)

It was a little chilly out today. I had a jacket on but my hands FROZE. Another purchase. Gloves. Totally necessary. Looks like my running wardrobe is building up. Now I need to figure out what items I need to endure the winter months.

Since I skipped Friday, I have to run a back to back session. I'm actually looking forward to my run tomorrow and hoping my body adapts to the added 2 minutes.

And here is a body shot of me with my new jacket and running shoes! Oh and look at this other picture from January. WOOT! Body is SHRINKING!!!!!! I love it!


 Until next time!!!!

Friday, September 30, 2011

September Weigh-in/Measurements Results!


Weight: 198
High Waist: 32.5
Low Waist:  34
Hips: 45
Thigh: 25.5
Calf: 17.25
Upper arm: 12.5


Weight: 189
HW: 30.5
LW: 32
Hips: 44
Thigh: 25
Calf: 17
UA: 12

6.5 inches and 9lbs down this month!!

Nutrition Review: Started tracking my food again eating between 1300-1600 calories. A couple of days of 18k and oh OVERATE during the Labor day holiday (water weight had me seeing 200 on the scale!)
Started eating chicken for breakfast instead of turkey sausage so much and that has helped decrease my sodium intake.  Ate Edy's ice cream VERY often.  Not very clean, but so satisfying. Still need to lay off the salt when cooking.

Exercise Review: Slacked a whole lot on DC but started Bridge to 10k program and Title Boxing 3x's a week.  Still going strong on my streak.

Next months goals:

Weight - 184
1 inch gone from all places
Dance Central daily for at least 10 minutes

LET'S GO!!!!!!!!

Thursday, September 29, 2011

If only my head could catch up to my heart. Week 2 Day 2

Of course I kind of dreaded my run yesterday. Agonized over it a little bit at work but quickly tried to recover from it and THINK good thoughts.

I love to run.
This will be nice.
I can do it.
I'm a runner.

It helped a little I guess.  Like I always say, the hard part is getting out there. Once I'm out and find my groove, I'm fine!

Fanny pack on, I headed out my door. Back to my old route, left out of my subdivision. I like that route because it's a nice stretch of country. Only fields and roadkill (ok that part disgusts me) but the lack of housing, buildings, etc. is nice and allows me to think about God's awesomeness. Things you kind of overlook when you are driving 50 miles an hour and zoom passed it.

So training today consisted of a 15 minute run followed by 1 minute walk, 3x's.  I'd say the first 5-10 minutes of running is the hardest. After that, I'm in there and feeling good about it. 

I read on someones Spark blog that they like to run without music sometimes so they can pay attention to their breathing and how their body feels. Even though I had Nicki Minaj (Super Bass) blasting in my ear, I really tried to key in on these things. I noticed my breathing was ok. I'm guessing the slow pace (14mm) helped in that area.  I also noticed my calves burning a little. Hmmm, now that is different. It's usually my breathing that can't hang, not my legs.  Not sure why my legs were so heavy, but I decided new running shoes are a necessity and I am definitely going shopping Friday.  We shall see if that helps.

My route doesn't have any big hills, but nice inclines that I can totally feel.  When I'm on an incline I try to talk myself through it and push hard.  What comes up has to come down right? And when I am going down I take that time to gather my composure.

The second run was ok. I can't lie, I still look forward to my 1 minute walks though. It breaks the time up for me.  I was feeling the weight of my legs in the last run. The last 5 minutes sucked and was ready to be done.

So....I decided I LOVE the feeling of watching cars pass me as I run. Something about that drives me to keep pressing. I feel empowered a little bit. I remember a time I WISH I could be those people I see running while I'm driving in my car. When I wasn't active, I didn't pay attention to them (probably thought they were crazy) But when I decided I wanted to run, I was in complete awe of them (and a bit jealous).   I think I'm becoming that person.  I'm a runner!

Not to get beside myself, my prayer is that I hang in there. CONSISTENCY is what I'm striving for. The mileage will come if I'm consistent. I just have to push myself out the door.


Tuesday, September 27, 2011

The Five Stages of a Runner - Step #1

The Beginner: Stage One: Making the Break

Every beginning is precarious. There you are, perched on the edge of starting something entirely new, yet there are distractions, even criticisms, that cause detours and dead ends. You want to be more healthy and fit, but you may not realize how secure you've become in an inactive world. Each time you go out for a run you encounter a new side of yourself - one that must somehow be integrated into your daily life.

There is usually a struggle within and without. The old lifestyle is there and offers security. When the energy of "beginning" wears off, it's harder to motivate yourself to go out for that daily run. You'll face a lot of obstacles at first. It's all too easy to stop when the weather turns cold, when it rains or snows, or when you feel the aches and pains of starting. You haven't had to deal with these things before and the temptation to quit is strong.

Your running may also be threatening to your less active friends. Eventually you - the beginner - and your non-running friends work it out. The transition period, however, can be unstable and uncomfortable for both. If you falter, the old world - comfortable in many ways - is waiting for you to slip back in. If you're lucky enough to make new friends who share similar fitness goals, you'll probably find refuge in the "fit" world while you gain your "running security."

Social reinforcement makes it easier to establish the fitness habit. One good approach is to find a group that meets regularly. Or you can make a pact with a friend who drags you out on bad days and vice versa. Races and fun runs are great opportunities to meet people.

At times you may not progress as fast as you expected. We Americans are traditionally hyperactive and impatient. When we plant a seed, we not only want it to grow, we want it to become a tree by next week. We want results. When you start, you want to see physical and psychological benefits. But if you push too hard, you can tire yourself out and end up quitting in frustration.

The seed of exercise - if you don't crush it - will survive periods of moisture and drought. Just when it seems to be drying up, it will spring to life, rejuvenated, and propel you further down the road. Don't be discouraged, even if you've stopped. Tomorrow's another day. Many beginners stop and start again 10 or 15 times before they get the habit established. Beginners who don't put pressure on themselves seem to have an easier time staying with it. If you simply walk/jog 30-40 minutes every other day, you'll find yourself gently swept along in a pattern of relaxation and good feeling. Your workout starts to become a special time for you. As you make progress you find within yourself the strength and security to keep going. At first you're "just visiting" that special world when you go out for a run. But gradually you begin to change. You get used to the positive relaxed feeling. Your body starts cleaning itself up, establishing muscle tone, circulating blood and oxygen more vigorously. One day you find you're addicted, and the beginner becomes a jogger.

By Jeff Galloway

GOSH..If this here blurb doesn't hit home......I'm definitely in stage 1.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Today's run....

Is nothing to even write about.  Woke up super stopped up and congested.  My sister said last night my mom would keep my niece so we could run together.  I was good with that but she called at 9am-ish. At that time I was sneezing and just trying to sleep.

Last night I went to my friends wedding and we danced ALL NIGHT.  My legs are so sore and I just wasn't feeling it.  I finally got up just to get my 10 mins in. 

I walked/ran 2 miles today. Nothing phenomenal.  Just needed to get it in.

Oh I did try my new headphones and my new fanny pack.  I love them both and so happy my hands are finally free of clutter.  And don't be mistaken, my fanny pack is hidden under my shirt. I'm still too fly for a REAL fanny pack (though Rhinna pulls it off very well!)

Hoping 2 days off of running will help me get in a good run Wednesday!  Have a great Sunday!

Saturday, September 24, 2011

10 min Challenge

This is pretty random, but I figured I'd better add it to my blog. I'm participating in Sparkpeople's 10 minute exercise challenge.

The purpose of the challenge is to get you on track of consistent exercise. I so love this idea! Many people (I know I've done it) take on these ginormous fitness goals way to early in their journey leading to BURN OUT!

For me, I would try and do 2 a days, 90 minutes of cardio 5-6x's a week.  That is WAY too much, especially because it made me super hungry and I hadn't changed my nutrition, thus I was only maintaining my weight, not losing.

Anywho, I've committed to 1,000 days (YES, 1k) of exercising at least 10 mins per day. I never have complete rest days, so when you hear me say rest, I'll probably be doing the minimum 10 mins. Stretching, light stroll, something "easy".

What's cool about this challenge is even though 1,000 days is over 2 years, who can't spare 10 freakin minutes?  Some days I really had to squeeze it in, but shoot, 10 mins is only about 4 songs on Dance Central (and yall know how I feel about DC, it's hard to stop. It's just that fun!)

There is an app called Habit Streak in the Android market that helps you keep up with your days. Every morning at 4am (you pick the time) I get a notification on my phone that asks:

Did you exercise for at least 10 mins yesterday?

All I do is check yes, and it tells me what day I'm on. COOL HUH??? 

Today is Day 74! I have done some type of workout 74 days in a row! Working my way up to 100 days! PARTY!!

I'll blog periodically about what day I'm on or if I had to break my streak to let you know how it's going.

Did I mention I love Sparkpeople?  Did I mention I love Dance Central? Did I mention I love my Android phone? Yes? Oh. ok. Just checking.

You should join me in the challenge!!! 

Friday, September 23, 2011

Freestyle Friday Run

I set out this morning to complete W2D2 of the training but somewhere after mile 1 my app FAILED.

For some reason I got a random itch to take a new route. That almost never happens so I went with it.
Instead of turning left out of my subdivision I took a right and to the right is A MAJOR HILL.  I just needed the change today I guess.  It's kind of good the hill is in the beginning of the run when I have the most energy so it wasn't horrible.

I decided to run to the Wal-Greens because SURELY that is 3 miles away. NOT. Only 2. Barely 2. Something about turning around takes some of my energy (this is dumb I know) because when I headed back I was tired.  Had to stop at an intersection and all my running momentum left me. 

I SO wanted to be able to come back and tell you I ran 4 miles today.  But I can't.  That's ok though. I ran a good 3 and ran/walked (mostly walked) the last mile. 

I have to keep reminding myself that I don't have a deadline. I'm going to take my time and enjoy the training.  I don't know why but I start to chase goals and attack them full force to the point of burn out. I don't want to do that with running. I would really like to become a life-long runner (as health permits).

Oh yeah, need to add that I changed the settings on runkeeper to only give me mile notifications and not time and pace. I did cheat a few times and check my pace and I'm averaging about a 13 min mile.  I also found a new music app to download some new songs (Music Download) I didn't have time to download anything new EXCEPT Beyonce - Party ft Andre 3000 & Kanye West. I will be getting a new playlist soon. YES!!

Title boxing was hard yesterday. I mean my legs were JELLO so I kind of figured today I wouldn't be 100% for my run (no. seriously. I'm not making excuses. LOL) 

My legs are definitely getting stronger and I'm seeing a muscle in my calf.  I have big (BIG) legs so anytime I can actually SEE something transforming there is pretty AWESOME! This is motivating me to keep going. I want nice long legs.

I'm proud of myself thus far for just going out there and running. It's still a challenge, but maybe challenges move me. I don't know.

Tomorrow is definitely a "rest" day.  A nice stroll in the park. That's it. I promise.  Though I am getting the urge to play Dance Central tonight!

Happy Friday!!!

Thursday, September 22, 2011

pace...Pace...PACE Yourself - Week 2 Day 1

Like I said last week, I decided not to run the RunKeeper app anymore. Although I do like the fact that I know how many miles I've run, I get too obsessed with trying to keep a certain pace. This early in the game, I need to focus on getting in those miles, not how fast I'm running. So I started thinking this to myself:

If I know I have 13 more miles to go, how fast would I be running?

Not fast at all! I slowed it down and it worked! I read somewhere on the Internet that your pace should allow you to hold a conversation with someone.  While running I was definitely able to do that so I knew I was doing ok.

This was a VERY good run. I was able to complete the entire training session and wasn't exhausted when I finished.  My legs were stiff and my stomach cramped up (whats this all about?!) but other than that, I was good!

Oh, my phone died in the last 10mins of my last run.  I  know I said before I didn't need music and would try to train without it, but I did and it's ok. I can't say it gets me through, but sometimes it takes my mind off the time.  Usually I would use a dead battery as an excuse to stop but I kept going. Again, gotta be ready to run in non-perfect conditions!

So yeah. Good run yesterday.  Am actually looking forward to Friday's run.  Wait. Did I just say that?  I did!!

I think I can do this!!!!

Sunday, September 18, 2011

I can't stand the rain.....Week 1 Day 3

But real runners run despite the conditions so I laced up early this morning and set out for day 3 of 10k training.

It wasn't raining too bad, just a light steady rain.  Now let me say this is HUGE. Black girls don't do rain and my hair wasn't happy about it even though I had a hood on. 

This was THEE best run so far.  I found my headphones so I had some music going (not sure if this helps or hinders). I like music, but I kind of like my own company more. I guess today I was able to have some of both. 

I decided not to use RunKeeper in the background. I was focusing too much on my pace.  Today I slowed it down and allowed myself to run at a pace that didn't make me out of breathe or tired.

It started coming down a bitter harder in the middle of my run, but it's funny that I couldn't tell really.  Hood on and focused, I kept going.

I'm still very nervous about this. I just hope I can hang in there when the weather isn't the best.  Ouch! thinking about those early mornings when it's cold and the bed is warm. Lord help me.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Bridge to 10k Program - Week 1 Day 1

courtesy of

The bridge to 10k program is designed for C25k graduates (ME!) and gently adds more running to the intervals.

Week 1 
5 min warm-up
10 min run
1 min walk
Repeat run/walk 4 times
5 min cool-down

courtesy of

When I saw this I thought, 10 minutes isn't too bad BUT 4 intervals with only 1 minute walking in between....YIKES

I fully intended to get up and meet my friend at the trail around the corner. I couldn't sleep thinking about my run. Worrying. Scared. Nervous. Anxious.

I was up at 4 am and we weren't suppose to meet until 7am.  So I tossed and turned and dozed off until 8am! UGH.  I  began  talking myself out of starting today and thinking I'll just start tomorrow. It's a kind of cold outside, a little rainy, I'm sleepy. Yeah. Excuses.

But I knew I had to face my fear of getting out there and just go. Since I'm working from home today I decided I will go over lunch.

In order to get my butt moving I got up and put my workout clothes on and shoes. I think this helped me get my mind in the game.  So there. When I start feeling whishy-washy about going out, I'll just put my clothes on anyway.

I couldn't find my headphones, but I kind of sort of think I run better without music. During all of my 5k's I've never had music and it wasn't bad at all. It allowed me to think and meditate. 

Finally about 11:30ish I set out for my first run.  I skipped the warm-up.  The first 10 min run wasn't bad at all.  My pace was a little under a 12 minute mile.  Then the walk. 

Wow. 1 minute walk isn't a lot at all.  Just enough to catch your breathe and relax some.  Second run was just ok.  I think I was able to do about 8 minutes before I started walking again.  So that gave me a 3 minute walking interval.

The third run started off really great. I guess that's when I hit my second wind or maybe it was mentally knowing I was halfway there and only had one run left.  My pace slowed down a lot at this point. Maybe 12 and a half minute mile.  I was able to run about 9 minutes of this run.  Then I took another 3 minute walk interval.

I started off running the last 10mins, but I mentally checked out. I was tired.  I know it was mental because I don't think I was tired physically, just mentally.  I ran for about 2 minutes and decided I would walk the rest of the way back home.

During the run I felt my stomach cramp up. This happened to me right after my 5k last Sunday too. I wonder if it has to do with being hydrated. Today I ate breakfast before the run, but last Sunday I ran on an empty stomach and had a banana right after. WAIT. I had a banana this morning too. Hmmm. Wonder if they are causing my stomach issues. *shrugs* Not a good feeling though.

I am not disappointed in myself that I couldn't run all the intervals today.  I am accepting where I am and praying that I progress. The only way to get better is to keep going and if that means giving myself longer walking breaks, so be it! I don't want to burn out. I didn't want to force it and have a bad run. When I do that, I'm slow to get back out there dreading another bad run.  I am PROUD of myself for starting!

Even though you are suppose to do this 3x's a week (non-consecutively) I am going to do it again in the morning. I decided I will do  W1D1 (week one day one) as long as it takes me to get comfortable with it. I am in no rush. 
I really need to figure out a schedule to work this program. It's hard for me to give up Title since I love going so much. 

I'll figure it out.  So there it is, day #1. COMPLETE!!

Facing the Fear

Running scares me. I fear it. I'm trying to think of the reasons why. I guess here are a few.

*It's hard. To me, long distance running is the epitome of fitness. It takes training, endurance, strength..all the things I think of when I think "athlete".

*It's not fun to me. I mean, I love the feeling when I'm done. I love the feeling of being able to run, but honestly I don't wake up happy to go for a run. I do it because I have to and I know I want to run long distances. I am hoping that I turn in to a real runner. You know the type that just leisurely goes for 18 mile runs on Saturdays because they love it. Yeah. Maybe. One day.

*I'm doing this all by myself and must be self-motivated to walk out the door. Unlike Title Boxing there is no set schedule, no instructor, no friends to go with me, no one rooting me on as I huff and puff through it.

*I'm not an athlete. Never have been. Running is for athletes only. Not clinically obese people. It's impossible for an obese person to run.

*I'm really not good at it. Well let me say, I'm not where I *think* I should be. I guess I *think* I should be able to walk out the door and be able to run 45 minutes each and every time. That's ridiculous. I know.

*I'm scared I CAN'T do it.  I'm scared I WON'T do it. 

So those are the reasons I am afraid of verbally expressing my desire to run a 1/2 marathon (and eventually a full marathon)  Just seems at this point pretty far fetched and out there.  I'm barely running a 5k at this point. 

All this negative talk. So unproductive. So let me switch this blog up on a positive note!

*I can run a 5k. Easy? Nope. But I can do it

*I can't wait to be able to say something like "oh today is my long run, 10 miles" and shock the hell outta folks.

*I want this.  I know it's hard but that's why err'body ain't doin it (busting out my slang, get used to it)

*I've overcome a lot in this journey, this is just another thing for me to accomplish. I won't allow fear to set me back!

So I need to have a "come to Jesus" with myself and realize the following:

*There will be days I don't feel like it. Do it anyway. Get it done!

*The winter is coming. Real runners run in non-perfect conditions all the time.

*All runs won't be good runs. Doing something is more than doing nothing. 


So these are just a lot of my thoughts right now.  I just want to do this and prove to myself that I'm capable of things I set my mind to.

FEAR - False Evidence Appearing Real

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Me and Dance Central

After graduating college I found myself ballooning to over 300 lbs.  Eating out, huge portions, and no exercise packed on the pounds very quickly.  I couldn't take the state I was in any longer and started to work out.

 I began my journey working out at the gym consistently.  Pretty much only using the elliptical for 60-90 minutes, 6 days a week.  I didn't love it, but it was working.  About 50lbs down, I got BORED. STIFF. I completely stopped going. 

At about 250lbs I was still eating too much, not working out, and some of the weight crept back on.   I had to break the cycle before I became a typical yo-yo dieter.  Last December, I had enough and decided I really need to work on a lifestyle change. Something I could maintain for the rest of my life. 

I researched eating clean. CHECK. Calorie counting. CHECK. Going to kickboxing classes. CHECK. But I knew I  was still missing something. I had to figure out what it was before I got bored again and packed on the pounds.  I needed to find a workout that wasn't a workout. That was just FUN.

You mean to tell me exercise can be fun? Stop. No. Really. I found out it can be!
So my latest and greatest fitness purchase .....

courtesy of

--My name is Alicia, and I am addicted to buying fitness gadgets!--

The XBox Kinect along with Dance Central! I love this thing.  Dance Central is so much fun,  you totally forget that you are working out. BRING ON THE SWEAT BABY! 

What I love about Dance Central and what sets it apart from other games like Just Dance is the genre of music. I'm not very eclectic when it comes to music and I like what I like. And gosh darn there are SO MANY songs on this game that I love. Poison by BBD, Push It by Salt-N-Pepa, Rumpshaker by Rex N Effect. I can dance for hours. Seriously. Hours.

I also like the fact that the dances aren't corny. I mean you could really go out and party and use these dances without looking...dumb.  I for one plan on busting moves at whatever event involves a DJ and a dance floor. This game has turned me into a real life Laurieann (BOOM BOOM KAT)
Having Xbox live with it allows me to download new songs so that I'm  never bored with the same old songs (and ya know I get bored easily)

Sometimes you just want to have fun with your workout. Not feel tortured. This is truly the greatest workout ever.  I've been playing Dance Central for about 5 months now and have dropped MAJOR pounds and inches off my frame.   I definitely think DC is what I needed to help me break through my danger zone (210ish lbs) and finally get the 200's behind me (120 lbs down so far!)!

Game night at my house was THE BEST.  I was a little nervous about dancing in front of my friends (insecurity reasons) but all that went out the window once the night got started.  We were so wrapped up in dancing and winning, no one was even paying attention to me.

We tried to stop dancing and play a board game, but we just couldn't concentrate. Back to dancing we went.  It got so bad that we had to break out in teams. 10 people playing DC using a 32" screen TV is not recommended. It was a mess and I was afraid I would get elbowed a couple of times. 

We were all addicted and a few of my friends went out and bought Xbox's and DC the very next week. BRING ON THE COMPETITION!

As you can tell, I'm super excited about adding DC to my fitness routine.  I've finally found a winter work-out that I know I will stick to.  Can't wait until DC2 comes out. Can I love it any more?

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

In the beginning....

And I promise to try and keep this short and sweet.

I was born on an unseasonably cold first day of spring Too far back? *shrugs* Sorry.

I've been overweight my entire life. I don't know anything different and actually any weight smaller than my current weight is pretty much uncharted territory. Of course being overweight, I hardly stepped on a scale but there are a few times I remember being forced to.

Summer before middle school - 190ish

8th grade physical - 213

Freshman gym class - 220

Summer before college - 210ish (and this was after losing 40 lbs in my attempt to be normal before school started)

After college - 311 (Freshmen 15?...How about 100?)

2006 - over 300 lbs

At 27 years old I weighed over 300 lbs and it was depressing, so I decided to finally do something about it.


How did I do it? My process changed so much, so I'll just tell you what I'm doing now and the ONLY way that works! Eating Clean (non-processed food), Calorie Counting, and Exercise.

Yes, that's it! I use the Sparkpeople app on my phone to count calories. This app is INCREDIBLE and I highly suggest it and the best part is it is FREE. All you have to do is register for a page (I'm ACCT1908, look me up!) and go from there.

For exercise, I take boxing classes about 4 days a week, and I also play Dance Central on Xbox Kinect.

As my fitness level changes, I'm always trying to find ways to challenge myself and the thing that keeps coming up is RUNNING! Oh how I want to be a runner.

This year I have participated in several 5ks, yet still haven't fell in love. But that won't stop me. I have decided that I want to train to run a half-marathon (13.1 miles)

A lofty goal for a non-runner... person that only runs on race days...a person that dreads running...a person that will need to squeeze in time to train. YES ME! I will run a half-marathon. Soon.

So follow me as I train for that, and try to kick these last 25-40 lbs (I don't know how much really)in the *bleep*

Monday, September 12, 2011

I Suffer From Body Dysmorphia

The crazy thing about it is I've always had it. At 300 lbs I thought I looked like I did when I was 200lbs and here at 190lbs I feel like I look like I did when I was 270lbs. It's a strange thing.

Yesterday I ran my 4th 5k of the year and at my best time 37:02. For me, that is HUGE because I don't run regularly at all. When I finished, of course I was super proud of myself and felt strong. BUT, my sister took a picture of me and the day went down from there.

Disgusted may be too big of a word to use, so I'll say disappointed. Let me dissect what I'm disappointed about.

My arms - Didn't realize they were this big. Hate them. And yes, I recognize they were bigger, but I'm like what weight must I be before they are TONED and RIGHT. UGH.

My lower body - I feel like I'm so disproportionate. My upper body (face to waist) is pretty small. But THEN from the hips down, I'm huge. UGH. I like dresses but never wear them because I hate my legs. And no, I don't want to wear long one's. And if I do wear a dress, it has to be A-line. Nothing clinging to these curves. I bought a dress for a  wedding Saturday. I took that sucker back, bought a bigger size. Still don't like it.

For those of us that have never been thin we have this visual of what we think xxx lbs would look like on us. Or size xx looks like. My visuals have been so off base it's ridiculous. I thought at 194lbs I would look like a plus size model (lol) They are big (I guess),but TIGHT.

I looked up the symptoms of body dysmorphia and I suffer from the following:

*Preoccupation with physical appearance

*Strong belief that you have an abnormality or defect in your appearance that makes you ugly

*Frequent examination of yourself in the mirror or, conversely, avoidance of mirrors altogether (in my case the former, I am CONSTANTLY in the mirror. I've had 2 trainers at the gym catch me doing this. I think they think I'm arrogant, but it's SO not that!)

*Belief that others take special notice of your appearance in a negative way

*The need to seek reassurance about your appearance from others (this bums me out, I don't like that and definitely think it is a character flaw of mine, no man wants to have to keep telling me I'm beautiful...i digress)

*Excessive grooming, such as hair plucking (I think I take either approaches. I either have this I don't care what I look like attitude or this I have to look stunning and buy new clothes, accessories, shoes constantly. Like I don't have balance. It's either all or nothing)

*Extreme self-consciousness

*Refusal to appear in pictures (hates to be tagged in pictures on FB unless I pre-approve)

*Comparison of your appearance with that of others (OMG, a biggie!)

*Avoidance of social situations (HELLO! I'm young and single and NEVER go anywhere)

I feel like nobody understands this. They say things like "well you've lose 100lbs, you aren't proud" or I had a friend who is 300+ say "Oh if I was your size, I'd be good"

I'm like, no you won't! I thought the same thing. I thought when I reached Onederland I'd be good. WRONG. It doesn't work like that because in your head you have a visual of what 199 looks like on you (especially if you've never been there as an adult) If it doesn't meet your visual, you keep going.

I really, really, really wish I could bask in the success so far. But I just ...can't. I'm not done.
This is really unhealthy thinking. I know it. I need to pray about self-love, self-appreciation and confidence. I need to be thankful for health and strength and really move pass this superficial thinking. I know.

This blog is not "please comment on how wonderful, and pretty, and inspirational" I am type of post. I'm really not putting this on here for that (though I am THANKFUL for the encouragement) I don't want you to think I'm fishing for kudos.

I just wanted to let you all know that though I'm doing great in the weight loss part of the journey, I'm really not doing that well in getting my mind right. Sure I have my days when I'm like..HECK YES, I look hot! But those are few and far between.

It is so super important to learn that this journey is more than about what you look like, who will like you, getting/receiving compliments from others. getting more attention from men. In the end, it's about LOVING YOURSELF! You have to or you still won't be happy, no matter how much you weigh. Your life is your own and it's short. We have to ENJOY it NOW! Not when we reach this magical # on the scale. Be confident, be proud, be healthy and be thankful. Someone wishes they could do what you are doing. Or have the success that you've had.

Well anywho that was a speech to self, but maybe you get it too. I've got to figure this out. I was thinking of posting blogs of lists ( I really hate writing blogs, but I can make a list lol) For example, 10 things I can do, that I couldn't do. 10 things I wish I could do that I can't right now.... Maybe that will help me put this in perspective and stop focusing on being obsessed with my body.

Welp..this was a long one. I knew it would be but had to get it off my chest.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Do you share your journey with those around you?

I don't.  For the most part I am a private person. I don't tell many people around me about my journey. If they ask, I indulge. If they are in the struggle, I indulge. A little more.  There are only a couple people that I confide in about my weight loss.

I was at work and I get an IM from a friend that says "hey are you on SPARK?". WHAT!?!?!

I then ask them why do they ask. She tells me that someone from her job was showing her my page.


I just don't know how I feel about people I KNOW knowing my struggles, how much I eat, how much I weigh, how much I used to weigh, etc. Yes, people know that I'm losing weight, but not the actual #'s. Makes me uneasy. I feel as if every time they see me they will be thinking..DANG she looks/does not look XXX lbs.
I'm a blogger, and yes I blog about pretty much everything. For some reason I feel comfortable with sharing these thoughts with the universe but NOT with my "real" friends/family. Being an anonymous blogger makes me a little bolder in what I share.

My Pastor talks a lot about sharing your testimony. YES, I do believe *one day* I will share my story to those around me. Just today I feel uneasy about it. I feel like I'm still struggling too much to do that and I can't deal with the added pressure from people around me holding me accountable (i.e watching everything I put in my mouth) or asking 50 million questions about clean eating and calorie counting. 

 On one hand I like the "privacy" of blogging only to people that don't know me personally, but on the other hand I would love to share my blog with my friends and family. You never know who will be encouraged by it. 
As you can see , I'm going back and forth with myself on this.

Is it just me? Am I being ridiculous? Do you share your story blogs with real friends?

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Tracking...Eating Clean...30 days later....

God is good and I prayed for strength in this aspect of my life. He's all over this one.

I cannot EVEN belive I have tracked my food this long. I've been on Sparks for 3 years now and always start on a Monday...quit on the weekend.

I was very consistent with tracking my workouts. That positive...can't knock a good workout. But my food? NO WAY!

I truly believed I could lose this weight w/o changing the way I ate. Yes I read the articles about the importance of nutrition. But I was 100lbs down and NEVER tracked so I (knew) I could do it. WRONG.

Saturday, January 1, 2011


This is the theme for me this year. No more tricks, no more gimmicks. That crap just doesn't work.

Tricks and gimmicks? For me it was not eating right, but working out 90minutes a day in cardio. Yes, it helps me lose ...only for a while. But what then happens is I get burned out.

This is my 3rd year on SP and still over 200lbs! I have yet to make it to Onederland. Something has got to change.
I've resisted changing my eating habits as long as I could and its not working.

For the past month I have been tracking my calories and being completely (I think) honest about what I'm consuming. I'm averaging 1,750 calories a day.

And I swear this is the BEST eating I've EVER done. That's scary huh???

My goals this year:

Track daily

Weekly calories average: 1,500

Exercise: 150 cardio minutes, ST 2x's a week

Run a 5k (seriously)

Thats it! There's the plan.

SN: No more fast food, 90% clean eating (some things I can't control)